The Kids I Love

Just got in front sleeping on the roof! We did end up sharing it with a few other Indians, but it was fun! And very cool, a great breeze up there! It got hot after the sun rose, so we headed back down now (around 7am). We are leaving at 10am to run some errands and head over to Victory for our last day, so I am just going to stay awake and try to pack. Our bus to Hyderabad leaves at midnight tonight. We are spending the day tomorrow in Hyd, and then going to the airport around 4am for our 6am flight to New Delhi. I just want to take this time to post about a few of my favourite kids!

Nolan: Nolan is a sweetheart. His favourite thing to do is snuggle. He cannot walk, but he does a half crawl half scoot and whenever one of us sit down on the beds, we will soon feel Nolan’s head cuddled up on our arm or leg, after he has scooted himself over from wherever he is. He is very weak and the ayahs tell me they have trouble feeding him as he never wants to eat. Once he gains some energy, I know he will be walking. He is very determined and so badly wants to. We practice with him every day. Just looking at Nolan’s face makes my smile, he is such a sweet boy!

Hannah: Hannah came to the orphanage with some developmental delays, but for the most part is a normal kid (aside from an ‘institutional delay’ that most kids who grow up in orphanages face). She attends mainstream school and is very smart. Her English is quite advanced for her age (better than all the other kids’, and most of the ayahs too!), so she spends a lot of time with us as we can communicate easily. She is bossy and likes her role as the big sister to be known. She has been so helpful to us, and I look forward every day to spending time with her. She is funny and outgoing and loves to be around people. She longs for a family (making up names for her sister that rhyme with her own name, Shmanna, Lannah, etc.) but seems to have really found her family within Victory Home. She is the big sister and everyone knows it, and she is definitely loved.

April: It is pretty obvious how much I love April from my other blog posts, but I will post about it here as well. She is amazing. I have seen this little girl come so far in the last month. For a little girl who hated to even have her arm lightly touched, to one who will sit in my lap for an hour at a time and enjoy all the kisses I smother her with, is amazing. She is feisty with quite the temper, but also sweet and loveable when she is happy, with the most adorable open-mouth smile. When she wants something, she wants something, and she is determined. She loves music and loves to sing, and the thing that makes her happiest is swimming in the pool (except when it gets too crowded; my girl is a princess and she likes the pool to herself!)
I came into this knowing that it would just be a month, and trying not to let myself get attached. I am trying to think of it in different ways; rather than I am leaving her to go back to getting only as much attention as one child in a room of 20 can get, I am trying to think of it in a way like maybe I was just meant to pull her out of her shell. I was meant to work with her and bring out her comfort level with other people, and help her to trust. And there is going to be someone else who steps into her life to continue my work. My biggest hope for her is that she will get adopted (adoptions in this state have just re-opened). More than anything else, what she needs is a mother. But Sarah hopes to eventually open a foster care program. Maybe a volunteer foster mother will come and fall in love with April like I have, and be the next step in showing April love. You all know if it was ten years down the road I would be adopting her in a heartbeat, but I have to realize it’s just not meant to be that way and I was meant to do other things with her. She is a happy girl now. And the ayah in her room (Anusha’s mother) has been studying her with me, and learning about her. When I first came, they would just keep her in a crib and tell me she doesn’t like to be touched. Now, she is out on the bed, getting snuggled, getting loved on every day. She is going to see changes in her life and is not going to feel so alone, I know it. April and seeing all her accomplishments is hands down my favourite memory of SCH. She taught me a lot about loving someone unconditionally, despite (or actually, in embrace of) their special needs. I have come to not see her special needs as something that hinders her, but something that makes her special. The way she flutters her eyelashes, even though she has no eyes. She looks like a little angel. How CP affects her lower half, and how she will curl into a ball and just make me want to go over and cuddle her.

April is special, really she is. Each of these kids are, and they just need someone to be there for them and to realize it. I am just thankful that they came into Sarah’s care. Their futures are bright. They are loved. And there is hope for them to get their education, get the physio they need, and maybe even find families to feel the love that every child should feel. I know I have learned a lot from experiencing life with them, and each of them, but especially April, have taught me about love, acceptance, and have confirmed what I already knew was important to me; there are so many children in this world without families, and when I am older and am going to have children, I will adopt and do what I wish I could have done more long-term with April; show them love that they can only feel in a family. But in the mean time, for these kids, there is no better orphanage that they could be living in. It really is a family for them, and they are brothers and sisters in every aspect. It is going to be really hard saying goodbye today, but there is also a sense of peace about it, because they have Sarah and Theresa and I know things with SCH are just going to get better.